Weaning Off Breastfeeding

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This week has been an emotional rollercoaster. I’m over-joyed because Ayden is fully diaperless at home and also at the playground. There has been no accident for the entire week. He is able to inform me should he need to take a leak or a dump. He even suggested to go shopping without his diapers but I am not ready for that. I can’t imagine the stress of running to the loo every single hour. Maybe we’ll venture into that in a week’s time. 

It is also a stressful week for me because my nipples are getting really sore the past one week due to Ayden being extra clingy and asking for the breast more frequently. I don’t know if that is the effect of him graduating from diapers to underwear but he suddenly wants to cuddle and latch on more often. 

Ayden is 25 months old. He is able to communicate and expresses himself very well. I’ve been talking to him for the past few days on the possibility of weaning off the breast. He disagrees. He says, “Not yet”.

Last night, my nipple hurts so much that I cringed each time he latched on. Although I’ve said to myself that I’ll let him wean off at his own pace, I did the inevitable this morning. I took crushed garlic and rubbed it around my areola. I informed Ayden that my nips are on medication and it will taste funny should he takes a feed. He skipped the morning feed but insisted for the breast in the afternoon during his usual nap time. I did not want to give it to him but he cried like there is no tomorrow so I finally gave in. What I see shattered my heart.

At his first taste of the garlic flavored nips, he complained of spiciness. Then he ran to get his water bottle and returned to cuddle next to me. He took a gulp of water and continued feeding. His determination to feed from my breast eventhough it has that yucky pervasive garlic taste shreds me into pieces. He took another gulp of water, feed again, water, feed, water, feed until the taste becomes less pungent. He finally fell asleep in my arm. 

I hugged him so tight with tears rolling down my cheek. I felt so guilty putting him through that. It took me 3 months from the day he was born to finally be able to exclusively breastfeed him but now I am trying to force him to stop. Giving up breastfeeding can be an emotional experience for both the child and the mother. 

I told Darling about the situation today and he suggested to get Ayden to try feeding from a bottle. Ayden is after all a very rational boy. We can always reason with him. So we did just that. I have many new, unused milk bottles but the teats are all newborn size so we need new teats.

I get Ayden involved in everything – from shopping for the teats to pouring milk into the bottle. I also explained to him how the teats are made to imitate a mother’s breast and told him that this is his new ‘breast’. 

He agrees to drink milk from the bottle and is quite happy about it. I told him that from now on, he’ll need to drink milk from bottles and not from my breast anymore but he disagrees. At night before going to bed, he requested to feed from me and I let him. I won’t stop him so abruptly. Maybe I’ll make him drink from the bottle during the day and limit feeding from the breast only before bedtime for now. Once he is more settled we’ll try to completely wean off. It will be a bittersweet journey from here onwards…