The RIGHTs and WRONGs of parenting
I don’t know where to start or where to end but I know I have to write this out or else I’ll get more and more people buzzing me asking if I’m okay. Yes, I was upset today and yes, my Facebook status says it all.
Out of a random chat with a friend, this came out, “be honest, i think ethan still need to learn to respect u and william more. If he ever talk like that to me (im the parent), he will kena dah”
Suddenly, everything else doesn’t matter anymore. My world came crashing down. Yes, it was that bad. I don’t know why but seriously, I was at my all-time low.
I used to work in a kindergarten before I got Ethan. From a supposedly Headmistress position, I am referred to as Head Monster by the kids. I was THAT strict! I don’t like kids and they annoy the heck out of me, especially the naughty and rascal ones.
But then I got Ethan and I left everything to stay at home to care for him. Clueless to the max, I try bringing him up the sensible and reasonable way. I don’t believe in corporal punishment because I went through that growing up and it doesn’t do anything good in boosting my self-esteem back then.
I reason with Ethan from the very beginning. I believe in a good argument. I don’t just throw Ethan out of the house when I’m mad because that is not a good argument. That is just a loop-sided argument and I’m just showing authority by telling him he can’t live here coz he has done wrong. He’ll feel helpless coz he just won’t have anywhere to go.
People say I’m spoiling Ethan if I don’t hit or punish him. I do punish him, I just don’t hit him. Ethan’s piano teacher saw my fury when Ethan misbehaved for 2 weeks in a row during piano lessons. He thought piano lessons means the teacher is all his and I am NOT allowed to interrupt whatsoever. So the moment I budge in to speak with his piano teacher he will make a fuss. I tolerated for 2 weeks before finally giving him a piece of my mind. He’s better behaved from that day onwards.
Back to topic, my friend has seen Ethan getting out of line but did not see either me or William whacking him. I try not to punish Ethan in public as I know Ethan is very much like me. It will just embarrass him and scar him for some time. What I usually do is try removing him away from that spot to another location to reason with him.
Ethan is just 5 and I like to give him some margin of expression. But if that freedom is being misused into rudeness then I’m doing it all wrong. So today I had a long talk with Ethan, telling him what others think of him. I told Ethan, “Look, this is what people think of you, what do you think of it?”. He said he’s sorry. Why??!!! I asked him why is he sorry? He said for not speaking nicely to Daddy and Mommy and adds, “can you please remind me to speak nicely to you all next time?” I wanna bang my head on the wall dy! I don’t know what is right and what is wrong already.
Looking at Ethan, I’m all soft and I don’t believe or maybe I’m just too blind to see if he is being rude. Denial even, maybe.
I spent my entire day reflecting on my parenting with Ethan. I want him to grow up well but I don’t know if I’m doing it right and that scares the heck out of me. Suddenly I feel so lost…
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I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.
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