Too demanding or simply stupid?
It has been a rough day today. Little events lead to some big explosions..
He’s asleep now and when I reflected on today’s event I felt like an arse. Why was I being so demanding? Let me tell you what happened..
It started with him stringing these beads. So cute isn’t he? There we were, happily stringing. He string one and I string another. We then count how many beads we each have. But unlike any other days, today, he can barely count above 11. He fumbled with 15, skipped to 18 then 20.
I asked him what happened as numbers up to 100 has never been a problem to him but he just could not answer me. We tried again and still he got stuck. I started to boil and got firm with him. With a scared look in his eyes, he counted up to 20 PERFECTLY!
I felt bad then as it was suppose to be playtime but I pushed him to get his numbers right instead. I brushed it aside and did craft with him. We did a Silly Dog craft and then Darling came to bring us home.
Before leaving I told Ethan to say Goodbye but he refused. I went home angry as I am getting extremely annoyed at his reluctance to speak nor greet people! I gave him a piece of my mind and needless to say, he cried buckets. After getting an earful from both me and Darling, he finally promised to make effort to speak and greet people.
Out of nowhere, Ethan came and said, “SORRY” to me. My heart melted.
In the evening, we both happily walked to the playground, hand-in-hand with our shovel, buckets and more. We were happily playing sand when my neighbour’s 3 kids came to greet us and there he was, all silent again! Another neighbour came with her daughter and son and AGAIN, Ethan kept quiet! I whispered to him what he had promised us but he remained silent. All my neighbours went off to play with other kids.
I stood up and walked away. I was fuming mad! Ethan ran after me, calling ME, crying! I dashed home with him running after me all the time crying. Darling was at the gate. He saw us. He saw Ethan crying. I walked straight into the house leaving both of them at the car porch. Darling had to leave for work but I did not care. I did not want to speak to Ethan as I was really mad and I have a class in barely 15 minutes time!
Darling placed Ethan on the sofa and told him that he’s leaving to work. Ethan cried alone on the sofa saying he won’t be joining my class. Darling left for work.
I felt bad, seriously shitty. I held Ethan’s hand. I asked him if he wants me to bathe him before my class, he is too afraid to answer anything so he quickly said, “Up to you”. I took him upstairs for a quick bath. By the time I’m done bathing and dressing him up it’s already class time. He decided to join me after all. He was GOOD the entire two session of lessons today.
By the time class is over it is already 9.30pm. We had a quick dinner before going up to bed.
He is now asleep. Looking at him, I felt really stupid. He is only FOUR for goodness sake! Why am I pushing him so hard?
Why can’t I just let him be who he really is? Who IS he really?
He’s Ethan. He’s happiest when he’s crafting and playing. He’s most talkative when he’s with Mommy, Daddy and people he trusts. He’s super silent when he’s with familiar people but NOT seen on everyday basis. He’s FOUR and he has the cutest smile ever! Most of all, he’s a KID and I should just let him be just that – a KID; something he is really great at being, simply… a kid!
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I am a mother to two boys; Ethan and Ayden and a wife to Darling William. I'm a stay at home mum who blogs to break the monotony of life and to avoid feeling jaded. Would love to get to know all the Super Mommies and Daddies and Babies or Singles out there with the hope that we can learn more from each other. Most of all, I am a happy person, and I hope YOU are too.
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